Maybe it’s me, maybe it’s human nature, but I’ve noticed a
real tendency in myself to hold onto the things I like. Whether it be people, situations,
circumstances, things, whatever, if I like it, I don’t want to let it go,
sometimes to a fault.
Now, there are some things that are worth holding onto, things
I ought to hold onto. I think of my
faith, my marriage, my family and friends.
These are important, even foundational, to who I am and who I want to
become. How healthy is it, though, to
cling tightly to these simply because of what I gain from them or how they make
me feel? Can I cling too tightly, or for the wrong reasons, to the right
things? Do I need to reconsider not only what, but how I hold, those
things I deem important?
Lord willing, my wife and I will celebrate 40 years of
marriage this summer, and we dated for five-and-a-half years before that. We truly were just kids when we met, 15 and
16 years old (though wisdom dictates I don’t tell you who was which). Over the years, we’ve encountered our share
of circumstances and events that have caused us to hold tightly to one another.
Can I cling too tightly, or for the wrong reasons,
to the right things?
Early in our relationship, our youth pastor shared an
illustration that spoke deeply to us. He
took a pencil in hand and began to write.
As he wrote, he challenged me to grab the pencil out of his hand. It came right out. I returned the pencil to him, and he began to
write again. On his cue, I tried to take
it back. This time, though, he held it
so tightly I couldn’t pull it loose. He
won…or did he? What I hadn’t realized
was that he also held it so tightly he could barely write with it. He held it so tightly that he wasn’t able to
use it for its intended purpose. The challenge for us was to consider whether
or not our burgeoning relationship, focusing so tightly on one another, was
keeping us from being/doing that to which God was calling each of us.
Is it possible to cling so tightly to the things I know and
love that I squeeze the meaning or the purpose out of them? That I squeeze the life out of them? As we considered our youth pastor’s
challenge, we became convinced that God was calling us to commit our lives both
to Him and to one another. The clear
lesson, however, was that we could never allow ourselves to be so consumed with
one another that we neglected those God put around us.
Is my relationship with God ultimately about me
or about the person and nature of God?
So, is it possible to hold too tightly or for the wrong
reasons? I believe it is. If my wife and I had tried to cling to that
high school relationship we so enjoyed back then, we wouldn’t know and love the
people we’ve become so many years later.
And my faith in God? While God
hasn’t changed, my understanding of God has changed immeasurably as I’ve
allowed him to change me. Had I held
rigidly only to what I knew early on, I wouldn’t be who I am today. And when it comes down to it, is my
relationship with God ultimately about me or about the person and nature of
God?
My wife and I were recently challenged to let go of a
congregation and a small-group we’d been part of for several years. God was leading us to accept a leadership role
at another church, and, as much as we wanted to do that, we didn’t want to let
go of what we knew and loved. Our church
and our small-group had been incredible blessings through some very trying
circumstances.
As we followed our understanding of God’s call, though, we
were reminded of that illustration from our youth pastor. If we chose to hold tightly to what we knew,
what we had, what we loved, how much might we miss? As teens, it was by loosening the grip on our
relationship with each other that we experienced the fullness of our
relationship today. If we held too
tightly to our small-group and our church, what might we miss by failing to
step out into the future God has laid-out ahead of us?
As I reflect on all of this, I have to
wonder if there are other things in my life I hold too tightly. What about you? Are
there things in your life you hold too tightly or for the wrong reasons?
Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s me. Maybe it’s all of us.
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